Communication is Not Connection

August 18th, 2011

Today more than ever, there are numerous ways that we can communicate with one another.  For example, E-mail, Voicemail, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to name just a few. These electronic means of communication are sure to evolve into yet un-thought of methods. But, despite all the ways we have to communicate with one another, we are not feeling very connected to other people or to ourselves. To avoid this problem of communication without connection, we need to look at the ways we are communicating to see if we can find more life-enhancing, enriching, and inspirational ways to relate.

What is the objective of effective communication? Ideally, we would like our communication to lead to mutually satisfying relationships. This requires a give and take from each other. You feel like you are making a difference or connecting, and likewise the person on the other side feels the same way. For there to be true communication and connection it has to be mutual.

The following 4-step process will help you more effectively communicate and truly connect with other people: Read more »

Persistence not Perfection

August 12th, 2011

I think we all need to get over ourselves and the desire, need, and pursuit of perfection.  It’s really just a cop-out and a reason to not move or an excuse for not ‘getting it right’.  If we leave no room for spontaneity, creativity, and fluidity in our lives, we can lead pretty boring lives.  The pursuit of perfection often leaves us feeling depleted and deflated.   It’s just a never ending cycle of ‘raising the bar’.

Many people never start their own business, go for that promotion, write that book, or accomplish whatever their dream is because of their fear of failure or ridicule.  So what if you don’t get it right the first time?  Most successful CEOs and famous business people failed numerous times before they tasted success.  I once heard Ted Turner had 17 failed Read more »

Three Lessons Learned from the Summer Job Search Blues

July 27th, 2011

Our son, Justin, is home for the summer from College. It was a Mom “directive/requirement/command” that he would work this summer and earn his spending money. What a learning experience for all of us!

First, he started looking way too late. We learned he should have started looking for positions in January, not April. Second, the world of on-line application is interesting to say the least. It is easy to get lost in the crowd as you are one of hundreds and sometimes thousands of applicants! Third, many don’t want Summer help…and the list goes on and on.

I found myself learning a lot about the process from observing and helping Justin try to land a job. I am very out of touch with having to find a job myself since I have owned my own business for 10 years. I must find and be hired by my clients – but that is a very different process than being hired by a retail store or company.

Below are some of the insights I have gleaned from helping Justin find a summer job that apply universally: Read more »

Lost in Success

July 20th, 2011

Each day, more and more of us report an insatiable and inconsolable restlessness. Finding ourselves wrapped in the trappings of success and radiating an air of inexhaustible competence, we are unable to escape the hollow feeling that our lives have no real meaning or a purpose that feeds us from the inside.

You would think with all our knowledge, resources, access to world class expertise and affluence we would be the happiest and healthiest people in the world. But the reality is that in the United States, 87% of our rapidly expanding health issues are stress related! With all of Read more »

Three Lessons a Dog Can Teach You About Life

July 15th, 2011

In my most recent post about The Rhythm of Life I shared our recent scare with the possibility of losing Samson, our precious 4 lb. Yorkie. While the experience was terrifying, it did allow me to reflect on the following three lessons about life:

  • Life can Turn on a Dime:  We all need to realize this sobering fact and enjoy every moment. Jobs can be lost, health can be taken away, kids can ‘go astray’, and dogs can die. When I was a hospital Chaplain I will never forget a 32 year woman who was watching her husband play basketball in a gymnasium. Someone dropped a purse and the gun that was in the purse fired. The stray bullet hit her in the chest and killed her instantly! As I was meekly trying to comfort her husband in his stunned state of total shock and disbelief, I felt so helpless to begin to understand or soothe his pain. Read more »

The Rhythm of Life

July 13th, 2011

Lately life has dealt me some big challenges and offered some wonderful gifts. How is it that a day can be full of the highest joys and the deepest lows all in a 24 hour period? That happened to me last week.

I was having a perfectly normal, even nice, day. My dog, Samson, who is my angel with fur, was really sick the night before so I took him to the doctor that morning. They checked him out and took blood. People “oohed” and “ahhed” as they always do with my precious 4-lb. bundle of joy. I continued with a productive day of work, and was talking with my husband at 5:45 p.m. when our world changed.

The voice on the other end of the phone (the Vet) said Samson was very sick and needed immediate attention. She said we could wait until the next morning and bring him to receive an IV all day at their office! But her strong recommendation was that we Read more »

How to Live, Think, and Lead with Brilliance! (Part II)

June 28th, 2011

There are multiple facets to Executive Brilliance that allow transformational leaders to Live, Think and Lead with brilliance. The following “to do” list (the second half of two lists about living, thinking and leading with brilliance) will help you achieve that goal. Work on these activities each day and watch how your inner brilliance can positively influence those around you:

  1. Silence the static noise around you and go within: Develop a daily practice of quieting your mind.  Develop inner resources that help you deal with outer circumstances.  Take a walk, read a book, take a nap, practice meditation.  Do something that is NOT work related.   The time away from the hustle and bustle of work will make you even more effective when you return.
  2. Learn to say “No” and practice saying “No” to time-eater tasks you could delegate: Listen to your inner feelings.  Do you say yes when you really want to say no?  Go ahead!  It’s healthy to say no! Read more »

How to Live, Think, and Lead with Brilliance! (Part I)

June 27th, 2011

There are multiple facets to Executive Brilliance that allow transformational leaders to Live, Think and Lead with brilliance. The following “to do” list (the first half of two lists) will help you achieve that goal. Work on these activities each day and watch how your inner brilliance can positively influence those around you:

  1. Lead by example by continuing and improving your own skills and knowledge: Lifelong learning is a natural and essential part of the brilliance process.  Winston Churchill said, “The sad thing about experience is it can be wasted on a person.”  Learn, grow, shine brighter! Read more »

Duck, Duck, Loosey, Goosey

June 22nd, 2011

Inspiration can be found in the simplest of places if we are open to see it. Recently I was watching one of my favorite programs “Sunday Morning” and there was a touching story about a retired executive named Dominique and a goose that developed a friendship at a park in Los Angeles. The man would go to the park to walk and somehow one of the geese ‘took a liking’ to him and would walk every step of the way with him. The goose even tried to follow him home! Watch it here…. Read more »

Are you Reflecting Light or Casting a Shadow?

June 16th, 2011

The giant presence of a lighthouse, topped with a powerful beacon, conjures images of safe guidance and the warning of imminent danger for those travelling by sea.  Historically, lighthouses have been used to mark points of hazardous coastline as well as to indicate the entrance to a secure harbor.  It is unfortunate that the number of operational lighthouses continues to decline as their purpose is replaced by advanced geo-location technology.  Still, the lighthouse itself remains an iconic symbol for a safe journey home and for an illuminated path during difficult times.

Like the lighthouse, a leader is also in a position to provide guidance and to cast a concentrated light on the unseen perils facing people and an organization.  Through their personal light do they light the way for others, and from the brilliance at the core of their being are they meant to shine out!  Read more »